Resistance is Fertile

Resistance is Fertile

One of the biggest questions in modern therapy is how to most-effectively work with what’s known as a “resistant” client.  The idea of resistance is a simple one that belies a complex reality: some clients wont respond well to what the therapist is doing, and progress will be slow or nonexistent.  It’s a little hard for me to write about any of this - resistance, progress - without throwing quotes on every other word, but since that looks awful in print please assume I view all of this askance.  It’s worth noting that the question of resistance is a question that has only shown up in the modern era of therapy; Freud and the analytic gang not only weren’t worried about “resistance”, they didn’t have even have a concept of it.  Why is that?

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What Lies in the Shadow

What Lies in the Shadow

Clients offer a lot of reasons for coming to therapy, but at the bottom of all of them is this: it’s hard to be yourself.  The world we live in can seem like a dangerous place, and there are plenty of forces out there that want you to be just a piece of yourself, or something you’re not at all.  And though many of us were lucky to be told to just be ourselves when we were young, many people have a difficult time letting that lesson really sink in.  The truth is, we’re all made up of disparate internal elements; our personalities are complex...

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How To Break Out of Jail

How To Break Out of Jail

As I sit here on president’s day, wondering what to do with myself now that my routine has been all disrupted, I can’t help but think of a previous client of mine.  This was when I was working with inmates, and this client, we’ll call him Jon, was very very much in jail.  He was locked up on extremely serious charges, most of which ended up being dropped, and had spent about a year in jail by the time we met each other.  We went on to work together for just over a year, and towards the end of our time together he was able to negotiate a deal that got him back into the community on probation with no felonies - this is the kind of plea-bargain windfall so rare it starts snitch rumors.  Yet, he chose to serve his probation time in jail...

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Friends in Low Places

Friends in Low Places

When I was in high school, I was lucky to have a group of friends wonderful enough to remind me of how sweet life could be.  In a time marked by transition, instability, and lack of communication, I knew without any doubt that I could count on my friends to be there, to stay there, and to let me know what they were thinking.  In return, I knew that I would take a bullet for any one of them.  Though I transferred to a different school in 9th grade, I made it a priority to stay in touch with them...

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The Myth of Therapy

The Myth of Therapy

In honor of a dear old friend who visited me over the weekend, I’m choosing to write about something a little more esoteric than usual this week.  His visit reminded me of why and how I got on track to become a psychotherapist in the first place; he called to memory the philosophical grounds of the work I try to do in every session with my clients...

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