What it Means to be Free

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What it Means to be Free

When I was 13, I requested that my parents sign me up with a therapist.  Being 13, I probably actually said psychiatrist on account of not knowing any better, but my folks made a wise choice and found me someone who was more interested in talking than prescribing.  That being said, now that I work with that age group, I can see that this is not as rare a request for a teen to make as I had always assumed.  A lot of my clients are brought to me by baffled parents who don’t know quite why their kids want to talk to a professional.  And when I meet with those teens who ask for a therapist, the reason is often the same: angst...

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Crossing Boundaries

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Crossing Boundaries

People talk about boundaries quite a lot these days - holding boundaries, crossing boundaries, clarifying boundaries, etc.  And the expectation when you hear a word like boundary is quite punitive - what happens when they get crossed?  A situation that I see often with clients is that one person will be furious that their boundaries have not been respected while the other person doesn’t really understand what is meant by a boundary to begin with, let alone how they disrespected it.  To be sure, the topic of boundaries is a tricky one in any relationship, and is even more difficult to navigate between parents and children...

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Growing Up, Growing Down

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Growing Up, Growing Down

These days, working with teens often means working with them during their return home.  There are a lot of reasons for this: they could be coming back from college or camp, they could be getting back in touch with an estranged parent once custody has been reestablished, or they could be returning home from a sober living house or outdoor program.  Teens being who they are, they often return with a whole new set of values and goals than they had when they left...

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Friends in Low Places

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Friends in Low Places

When I was in high school, I was lucky to have a group of friends wonderful enough to remind me of how sweet life could be.  In a time marked by transition, instability, and lack of communication, I knew without any doubt that I could count on my friends to be there, to stay there, and to let me know what they were thinking.  In return, I knew that I would take a bullet for any one of them.  Though I transferred to a different school in 9th grade, I made it a priority to stay in touch with them...

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Learning to Talk

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Learning to Talk

I have a client right now, let’s call him Brian, who’s been teaching me a lot of lessons about agency and patience.  He’s quite young - under 15, over 10, right in the middle of things - and he’s quite sensitive.  His parents have been quick to tell me that he’s been having a lot of trouble lately and like to give me little updates about him whenever we see each other.  To ask him, there’s nothing to worry about.  And though I agree with him, I do know that there’s a lot going on in his world that’s pretty troubling - the sort of thing that could be cause for worry if ignored over the long term...

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