I Would Prefer Not To

I Would Prefer Not To

Probably the best thing I read in high school was a story called Bartleby the Scrivener.  If you haven’t read it, it’s about an adult who gets hired for a fairly menial job and then manages to refuse to do it (or anything else) so charmingly that his whole office tolerates his lack of industry and keeps him on staff.  Eventually, Bartleby’s refusal to do anything leads to his incarceration and death of starvation, despite his former employer bribing the guards to give him extra food.  There’s probably more to it than that, but to my young mind the romance of declining to engage was plenty to chew on...

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Friends in Low Places

Friends in Low Places

When I was in high school, I was lucky to have a group of friends wonderful enough to remind me of how sweet life could be.  In a time marked by transition, instability, and lack of communication, I knew without any doubt that I could count on my friends to be there, to stay there, and to let me know what they were thinking.  In return, I knew that I would take a bullet for any one of them.  Though I transferred to a different school in 9th grade, I made it a priority to stay in touch with them...

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Learning to Talk

Learning to Talk

I have a client right now, let’s call him Brian, who’s been teaching me a lot of lessons about agency and patience.  He’s quite young - under 15, over 10, right in the middle of things - and he’s quite sensitive.  His parents have been quick to tell me that he’s been having a lot of trouble lately and like to give me little updates about him whenever we see each other.  To ask him, there’s nothing to worry about.  And though I agree with him, I do know that there’s a lot going on in his world that’s pretty troubling - the sort of thing that could be cause for worry if ignored over the long term...

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Origins of Adulthood

Origins of Adulthood

Growing up is a difficult thing to do, but there’s not a lot of choice about it.  When I was a teen I was basically a good kid, though I managed to get into a lot of trouble anyway.  My parents didn’t know why this was happening, my sister didn’t know why this was happening, and I certainly didn’t know why this was happening.  And while I think I know now, the best I can say is I have an educated guess that has helpfully contextualized my own struggle through adolescence and into adulthood...

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The Myth of Therapy

The Myth of Therapy

In honor of a dear old friend who visited me over the weekend, I’m choosing to write about something a little more esoteric than usual this week.  His visit reminded me of why and how I got on track to become a psychotherapist in the first place; he called to memory the philosophical grounds of the work I try to do in every session with my clients...

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